Bits and Pieces
by Angibugg
Summary: The bits and peices of Roy and Riza's life that others don't see. Normal rules apply like all my writing: angst, drama tragedy are sure to be full force.
1. Chapter 1

Well these are just some drabbles, just kinda writin' stuff to blow off steam. Normal rules apply like all my writing: angst, drama tragedy are sure to be full force. I'm sorry to all who are reading all of my other fics, I've been going through a family tragedy and school, and debate so I have had little time and little inspiration to write new chapters but I'm tryin'.

**The Call **

Ring...

It was unusual for Riza Hawkeye to call. She was usually right by Roy Mustang's side so there was never a need but tonight was different. He hadn't ben acting normally, that was why she was calling him. She knew that he had been having a hard week, they all had. The death and burial of Maes Hughes had taken a toll on all of them. She knew that the two had been best friends for longer than she knew but his withdrawal from everything and grief that he was trying in vain to hide was hard to watch.

Ring...

He had only said a dozen or so words since they had left the newly covered grave. Even when he had gone to work the next day he hadn't said a word, signed all his papers and disappeared around lunch. Not only was that very unlikely but he looked terrible. She doubted he had slept that night, dark bags under his eyes, his skin paler than usual, she doubted he knew or really cared what he was signing. He had been like that for three days, each day worse than the next, each day the light in his eyes that once was so bright dimmed. The depth of his new depression was troubling.

Ring...

She knew that he had been suicidal during the end of the Ishbal war and when he got home. She had talked to Maes a few times when a little bit of that look came out from time to time. Hughes had told her some of the gory details of when he had gone to Roy's apartment and realized that he was going to attempt human transmutation. He didn't think it was to bring the ones he had killed back to life, even with his limited knowledge of alchemy, that it wouldn't work. He was certain that it was just a more complicated way of killing himself. Maybe he thought he wouldn't back out if it was alchemy not a gun. She had to admit that she was jealous of the bond they had, he could get Roy to do things he would never do for her. He may want to stop hurting, but he was hurting her now.

Ring...

What if he had already done something? Dammit! Why was she so stupid? She knew better that to leave him alone now. She knew how depressed he had been and what thoughts that he tended to think is such a state. If he wanted to, there were so many ways to kill himself in his house. Gloves, gun, knife, razor, he could have poisoned himself or jumped off of the apartment roof, even just out his window would do it. Please let him pick up. She was getting ready to drive as fast as she could to his house, but she was horrified of what she might see when she got there.

"ROY MUSTANG ANSWER THE DAMN PHONE!" She yelled into the receiver in a hopeless attempt to make him talk to her. She didn't expect the voice on the other line.

" 'Ello?" A gruff voice from the other end asked

"Are you alright sir?" Riza asked as she sank to the floor in relief when she heard his voice. Thank God. She had never been so happy to hear a persons voice.

"I knew it was you Hawkeye." He said sounding slightly annoyed at being interrupted from whatever he had been doing, but too tired to really care about it.

"Are you alright?" She asked again, worry starting to rise again when he avoided her question.

"I was about to do it you know. I had my gloves. All it would have taken was a snap and there would be nothing left. It was so simple, one simple movement and it would be over. I was so close." His tone of voice was that which he would use when talking about casual things like the weather. It worried her a little.

"What stopped you?" she asked him . She wanted to yell at him and tell him how stupid he was. To let him know how worried she had been but like always she kept it to herself.

"I knew it was you calling. I couldn't bring myself to do it when you were on the other line. I just couldn't do that to you." His words were slightly slurred with the alcohol he had been drinking but the sudden distress coming from his voice was loud and clear.  
"I'll be right there sir."

"Don't worry about it." He said. He didn't want to see her like this, drunk depressed, the apartment was in the same messy state as he was in.

"I already am. I will be there in a few minuets. Just don't do anything."

He sighed but reluctantly agreed. He didn't want to admit it but he really needed her.

"Sir?"

He was about to hang up when he heard her talk again.

"Yes?"

"I love you. Remember that."

He couldn't help but smile as he hung up the phone. Things might be okay after all.


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm Sorry I'm Not Perfect **

Saying sorry wasn't always easy, or something you ever wanted to have to say to your commanding officer, but it was something that was inevitable you would say to your lover. Riza Hawkeye found herself having to say she was sorry to someone who was incidentally both for something that had come so close to taking his life.

The gauze on the left side of his face seemed to be yelling at her what her mind was already saying. It was her fault, she had failed him. His plan had been genius. Some may think that his brain was in his pants, she would agree with that on someday's but she couldn't deny that he was actually a very intelligent man.

If she had gotten there sooner, or aimed better it would have been perfect. She wasn't the only one to think so. This was the reason that everyone that had served under him had never strayed from his side, He was going to change Amstris into what they all wanted it to be. Because of her, it was starting to look like all of their sacrifice was for nothing. But the worst part is she didn't know how to make things alright. She couldn't fix this mistake or un-break the broken promise.

A few days later, when he woke up he asked her why she was frowning. Taking this as a way to apologize for her incompetence she looked to the floor and told him that his plan had been perfect, he had done his part, but she hadn't. She expected to be scolded but he told her that the world wasn't perfect, but she didn't believe him, it could have been as perfect as it could be if she had upheld the unwavering image he had of her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Nightmares **

Nightmares were something that plagued the sleep of both Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye so it shouldn't have been a surprise for either of them when they moved in with each other that it would be a frequent problem but it apparently slipped both of their minds.

Two days after they moved Riza woke up when the man next to her began to yell in his sleep. She had shook him awake and in surprise he had shot up , slid off the bed, hit his head on the bed side table which resulted in a concussion and a nasty gash on the side of his head that required stitches. She learned that when he was in that state, it was better not to touch him but find other ways of waking him up to avoid being in the same situation. His nightmares were usualy about Ishbal, Hughes or the Homunculi Most nights she could get him to go back to sleep after a few minutes of reassuring him that everything was fine, and if not she would make them both some coffee and would sit together on the couch.

Riza had nightmares but they weren't nearly as frequent or as intense as his. She would wake up to find Roy awake and pulling her to him. Riza usually went back to sleep quickly because as soon as she woke up and saw the mess of black hair and his concerned face she knew that it was only a dream and everything, if only for that moment, was alright. She rested her head on his chest, his heartbeat giving her comfort, because the nightmares she had the most and were the worst were the ones of him on the steps of the Fuhrer's mansion where she couldn't feel one.


	4. Chapter 4

**Promise well kept**

She always knew that it would come to this. She had no doubt in her mind even thought he compleatlly denied that it would ever happen this way. He wanted to believe that they would die together, when all odds were against them in some kind of heroic last stand, but she was certain that deep down even he knew that was never going to happen to both of them. She hated to leave him when there was so much she had to make sure he had done, but as the blood pooled around her and her vision dimmed, she knew that she had kept her promise. She had protected him with her life.


	5. Chapter 5

**Obstacles In The Path**

Sometimes she wished he would turn around for a moment and look at her. To tell her what exactly was going on in his head. He scared her sometimes, the one thing that was the biggest threat to him was the one thing she couldn't protect him from unless he let her in, but he rarely did. She could only guess what was going on behind those beautiful onyx eyes.

Other times, she wanted him to turn around and start going forward. There was no use standing idle and watching as life passed by without you. He had a goal that he needed to see finished. She needed to see finished along with many other people. They couldn't afford time to stop because things weren't going flawlessly, they were never meant to. She had to keep pushing him, making sure he had to keep going when the flame seemed to die down to just the bare ashes.

This was why she couldn't always stay behind him. Sometimes she needed to drag him so they could both carry on. If she didn't, she was worried she would never be able to go, let alone get him going again. This is why she stayed at his side, so she could steer him when the winds of change started to push him off the corse.


	6. Chapter 6

My morbid imagination meets boredom and keyboard again. Those who are waiting so patiently for me to actualy update my real fic, I'm about half way done, sorry it's taking so long. At least procrastinion can do something.

**The Last Ember**

He could feel her holding him to her self, her warm body and soft touch the only comfort he had as the blinding pain in his body made him tremble as it started slowly shutting down. He didn't have long, he knew that he wasn't going to make it out of here. Dammit, if he knew that today would be his last, he would have done so many things, the things that he should have done but never had, now he would never have the chance. Darkness was creeping into the corner of his vision that was slowly blurring. He needed to tell her but the gaping hole in his chest wouldn't let him do more that gasp and choke on the blood filling his lungs. He needed to tell her that He loved her and he was so sorry that she would never hear him say those words to her

"Dammit Roy, keep your eyes open. It won't be too long, stay with me, they're on their way." Riza pressed her coat harder to his chest and side trying in vain to stop the bleeding. It wasn't raining, so how the hell did the Flame Alchemist loose? He had been fighting with Scar for a while, he was tiering, slowing down just the slightest but that was all it took for the Ishbalan to grab him. It happened to fast for her to recognize what exactly happened, there was a bone chilling scream, had it been hers? She saw the explosion of blood, saw him fall to the ground and Scar disappeared.

He was trying so hard to do as she pleaded, keeping his eyes open, straining to keep awake but even though his eyes were open, he couldn't keep himself from slipping farther into the grasp of the unknown. He never wanted her to see this but he was glad she would be the last touch he felt, voice he heard, face he saw. He just wished she wasn't trying to hold back the tears that were flooding her eyes. They had always known it would end in one or both of them dying, but not like this. The thought had always been with bullets, swords, and flames, not gaping holes and strangled gasps for air. It had always been fast when he thought about it, a bullet ripping through him leaving him dead as soon as he hit the ground. How wrong he had been.

God how he'd miss her. He'd miss watching as the snow gently landed on her eyelashes as they kissed just inside her door, the way the sun made her seem to shine as well. He would miss the kind of beauty she had that he had always been confused and happy to be the only one who got to see it. Hell he'd miss her calling him useless in the rain. He could hear her sobbing as his breath became more labored. Did he have to be useless in her rain? He hated being the storm cloud.

A violent cough racked his body, blood spilling from his mouth. His head fell limply back in her lap. He had no energy left, his eyelids felt like weights that were too heavy for him to lift. He could feel her shaking him, pressing tighter on the material covering the wound, but it seemed so far off, like he was one of the officers watching that had come for backup just a moment to late.

He could just hear her crying his name, she didn't sound like her, Riza Hawkeye never cried, so maybe this wasn't real. As the last ember from a forest fire extinguishes at night, all was dark, and Roy Mustang knew no more.


	7. Chapter 7

**A Change of Plans**

It wasn't giving up, it wasn't really suicide, it was just a change in plans. He knew that he wouldn't reach his goal of Führer or avenge Hughes' death by continuing to try to do so covertly. If he kept going the way they had been going, this was as far as he was ever going to get, and his fall was surly just around the corner. Yes, the only way he was going to get his goal was by taking aggressive action and modifying the plan. He wasn't going to get to the presidential post and change the country like he had dreamed he would for so long, but it didn't mean he couldn't change things for the better. The only way to get what he wanted, was to go down, and take Bradley with him.

He hadn't told her his full plans, just the outline, with minor changes, but as she looked at him in the rearview mirror, he knew that she already knew what he was planing. They parked the car a block away, and on their walk there, she gave his arm a brief but loving squeeze that almost made him regret his choice, but there was no backing out now. As he made his way to the wine cellar, he knew that he wouldn't be walking out. He only wished he would have touched her back, but that would have meant another change of plans.


End file.
